by Adam L Stanley | Oct 16, 2011 | Life
Thoughts on Grandmothers
I posted a note on my grandmother last week and had so many great quotes I wanted to add more of them here … Enjoy!
The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent. ~Sam Levenson
Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown
Uncles and aunts, and cousins, are all very well, and fathers and mothers are not to be despised; but a grandmother, at holiday time, is worth them all. ~Fanny Fern
Gram, Mom, and Me
The history of our grandparents is remembered not with rose petals but in the laughter and tears of their children and their children’s children. It is into us that the lives of grandparents have gone. It is in us that their history becomes a future. ~Charles and Ann Morse
Four Generations
Grandparents are similar to a piece of string – handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren. ~Author Unknown
What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I’d like to say that grandparents are God’s gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. ~Bill Cosby
As such is life.
Be blessed and in relationship,
Adam
Adam L. Stanley
Follow me on twitter http://www.twitter.com/alswharton
Connect with me on Linked In http://www.linkedin.com/in/adamstanley
See more thoughts on leadership in my other blogs. Bookmark me or subscribe! Thanks.
by Adam L Stanley | Oct 14, 2011 | Life
Guest Blog
Connections Life Lessons: Future Leaders Share Their Stories
One of the greatest aspects of my career, education, and life in general has been meeting people. I love meeting people and getting to know their stories, what makes them tick and how they handle life challenges. I have met several young leaders over the years and I want to give voice to their stories. Thus, I have asked a few of them to share their stories as part of my Connections blog. I will not set a schedule but will share these when I receive them. I hope that by sharing their stories, you get to know a great young leader but also perhaps see a bit of your story in theirs. Perhaps we can learn from each other in this manner.
The first Story comes from Sunny Joshi. I met Sunny when he reached out to me at Aon. Interested in business and technology, he wanted to introduce himself to the CTO and offer any help he could provide with regard to our many ongoing initiatives. Over the months since that introduction, he has connected with me for lunch a few times, actively follows me on twitter and has connected with others in the network. I am excited about his future and honored to be a part of his present.
I hope you enjoy reading his story and encourage you to also follow this young leader as he charts his future toward success.
Be well! Lead On.
Adam
Adam L. Stanley
When Life Gives You Lemons
Guest Blog by Sunny K. Joshi
I think it’s safe to assume that many (if not all) of us, are who we are today because of the experiences we’re faced with in life, be they negative or positive. When life gives us lemons, we make a choice to become sour or make lemonade.
When life gives you lemons ...
I remember the time when I was young and got sick; my mom would force me to take medicine whether I liked it or not, because it was good for me. I’m now an adult and things haven’t changed much, except the context. When I’m faced with a challenging situation, I have to make a choice and act. Either I can throw a fit or I can do what’s required with the right attitude. Either way I’ll overcome that challenge, but it’s the attitude that dictates whether I’ll do it with a smile or a frown on my face. On occasion, we all regret the choices we make and want to turn back the clock, but that’s not possible. If not managed properly, these traits can continue to haunt us in our lives and as a result, we may miss great opportunities that may otherwise be presented to us. For those of us that achieve results with a smile on our face, we tend to look beyond the natural constraints and begin to have a buoyant outlook on life, regardless of the situation.
Developing this kind of attitude doesn’t come easy, especially if our surrounding environment holds us back. Nevertheless, this is something I personally continuously strive to enforce as I interact with my peers, colleagues, and family on a daily basis. I may even have come up with a simple formula to having a positive attitude.
​Positive Attitude = (Hope + Vision) x Influence
I like to think of my attitude as a sum of many years of hope and vision, multiplied by surrounding influences. I constantly take steps to ensure I am not losing track of my vision and constantly surround myself with people that support me. I believe that having the right support that motivates and encourages you at all times is the key to having a positive attitude, which then ultimately leads to success. I can have unlimited hope and vision, however if my surrounding environment is not influential or negative, I will fall short of my vision and ultimately lose hope.
Growing up, I came very close to losing that hope and taking a different path than the one I am on today. Had it not been for the positive influences in my life, I would have been another man.
About 15 years ago, my parents left everything they had in India and migrated to Chicago so that I could have a quality education. When I was ten, life threw a few curve balls at me. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I was separated from my parents a few days after landing in the U.S. and was forced to move to Canada with my relatives. My parents struggled holding jobs in Chicago, each working 16-20 hour shifts daily to make ends meet. After a few months of savings and getting their own apartment, my parents called me back and I brought 50 more pounds with me, just in time for school. They say when you’re worried, turning to food is the greatest comfort, and right they were. Talk about an awful time to gain weight ….
​A rough Junior High experience almost made me give up.
For those of you that have gone through the educational system in the United States, junior high is an extremely critical time. It will either make you or break you. Everyone is part of a clique or a special group. (Forgive my stereotyping, but imagine this from the perspective of an awkward youth…) You have your athletes, some of whom are “jocks” that are the arrogant types and tend to rank highest in popularity. Then there are the preps, the rich types who care less about what anyone thinks of them. And, alas, you have the nerds that have no fashion sense, are typically deemed unattractive, often have braces, and are notoriously teacher’s pets. You can look at the picture of me as a youngster and may just put me in one of the three categories. Hint: I remember not smiling in the picture so that I could hide my braces.
Young Sunny
My first day of junior high I was labeled as a “f.o.b†(fresh off the boat). How do you get such a prominent title you ask? Well for starters, you have to have a heavy accent in the English language. Each time I would say “Thank you†to someone, I would hear another kid yell the infamous quote from The Simpsons Quikee Mart character Apu, “Thank You Come Again!†Another requirement is that you have to eat and smell like curry 24/7 if you’re from India. I actually don’t blame the kids for calling me out on that because in all honesty, Indian cuisine does have strong smells that take some getting used to. In addition to being the new (maybe the only) “f.o.b†in my school, I was a nerd in the making. Even after attending classes for a couple of weeks, I somehow managed to have no sense of fashion. I wore dress pants with sneakers and had prescription glasses with maroon frames. I had also just gotten braces for my extreme overbite (picture Bugs Bunny).
Did I also mention I was overweight and had no friends? I had two people that I could call friends because they were in the same class with me and would try to engage in a conversation with me periodically. The computer became my best friend and I kept myself busy with piano and drawing lessons to avoid thinking about school. My home remained my only sanctuary, until a few students found my number from the student directory, called my house, and made racist comments. I remember one of them calling and saying, “Go back to India, Gandhi!†I was a victim of bullying, both physical and emotional. I’ll spare the details of the vulgarity I dealt with. I started to develop a sense of anger and rage towards those individuals but there was nothing I could do about it. Then there came a time where I almost gave up and was getting ready to go back to India.
​When I decided to make my lemonade…
My biggest turning point was when my mom told me that I should learn to face my problems rather than avoid them. At this very early age, I began to realize that prejudice is part of life. Rather than run from it, I should learn to accept it and move forward. I decided to be proud of who I was and make a difference being me rather than simply trying to fit in. Since then I’ve been making lemonade out of the lemons that life occasionally throws at me. Oh yeah, I’ve also taken care of my physique since then. Nevertheless, I can never forget my time in junior high because I constantly look back on those people that almost pushed me off the edge and thank them for ultimately making me believe in myself. Had it not been for the influence (negative and positive) and support I received early on, I can’t begin to imagine where I would be today.
​Spreading the Positive Attitude
What about you? Who has influenced you the most to have a positive attitude in life? Whether you’ve been a victim of bullying or have had a similar experience that pushed you to your limits, I hope the decision you made then is something you are proud of today. Life somehow manages to throw all of us a curve ball every now and then, so it’s best to be prepared and have the right attitude to take on anything life throws.
As I meet people that come from all walks of life, I try to give them the same support I received that made me who I am today. A common advice I give to everyone with whom I build relationships is never underestimate yourself. Your potential is more about what you believe in and not what others see in you. Having a positive attitude about life and your surroundings are a start.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.†– Steve Jobs
Be proud of who you are, always be willing to accept criticism, and use it to emerge as a better individual.
Wishing you all the success in life,
Sunny
Sunny K. Joshi
Follow me on twitter @joshisunny
If you would like to guest blog as part of this series, please contact me via twitter, linked in, or by posting a comment on this blog. Thanks, Adam
by Adam L Stanley | Oct 11, 2011 | Life
We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence, Grandmother was that person to me. ~Phyllis Theroux
I’m sitting in a small room in Metro South Hospital in the southwest suburbs of Chicago. My grandmother had a heart attack yesterday and has 90% blockage in her heart now. Because of her age, the quadruple bypass that would be needed to help is not an option. She just needs to be as comfortable as possible. And then we wait….
Amazingly, she is in great spirits and telling stories, lots of stories. Of angels protecting her. There are two of them, a boy and a girl, that she sees every night in her apartment. Of her husband, my grandfather who passed almost 25 years ago. She remembers the good and the bad, but mostly that they were “over the moon” in love. Of moving from Chicago to live in Seattle or somewhere else because she is tired of her apartment here. But she does not want to go anywhere she will not have friends. Almost 9 decades on this earth and she is thinking of moving?
“I loved their home. Everything smelled older, worn but safe; the food aroma had baked itself into the furniture.” ~Susan Strasberg
Little Me at Grandma's House
Grandma has always been there in our lives. As a child, she often babysat with me and my sister and spoiled us shamelessly. We loved visiting her because she was the BEST COOK EVER. While dinner at home was often chicken, veggies, and rice or something suitably healthy and balanced, my grandmother made fun foods. She made tacos, sloppy joes, pizza, and COOKIES. Oatmeal cookies, chocolate chip, and peanut butter cookies. She also made sweet potato pies, all kinds of cakes, and she had ice-cream. She always had ice-cream. Pretty much everything we had to have in moderation at home, we had a plenty at grandmas house.
Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb
The funny thing is, when she raised her 13 children, my mother being the fourth of the line, she did not allow them to eat any of these kind of things. When she made cookies, my mom tells me, grandma made her kids wait until the last cookie was done and the kitchen was clean before they could have a cookie. We licked grandma’s batter from the spoon and ate cookies as they came out of the oven. Nice and warm.
Young Grandma
What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudolph Giuliani
I think we truly learned this from both my grandmothers. Sitting in this room with my maternal grandmother, the last of my grandparents alive, I realize just how blessed I have been to have lived with each of them.
My dad’s mother always made me feel like I was the most special person in the world. She gave the best hugs, and taught me how to sing. She tried to teach me how to play the piano before my stubbornness won out.
My grandpa on my dad’s side was wise and stern. He taught me about values and making good, and Godly, decisions. He loved unconditionally but tough. No nonsense but lots of love. You knew he loved you.
Grandaddy, my mom’s dad, was the cool guy, smooth and calm. I never saw him get upset, though heard legends of his angry days. He was the first grandparent I lost and the first time I had to learn what it was like to lose someone close to you.
A house needs a grandma in it. ~Louisa May Alcott
So this is my last grandparent, and from her I learned to love food. I learned about history and the importance of faith, and I learned how to be tough as nails when needed.
And now we wait …
As such is life.
Be blessed and in relationship,
Adam
Adam L. Stanley
Follow me on twitter http://www.twitter.com/alswharton
Connect with me on Linked In http://www.linkedin.com/in/adamstanley
Or at http://www.alswharton.com/in
See more thoughts on leadership in my other blogs. Bookmark me or subscribe! Thanks.
