Thanks. From Soulbalm

The piece below was written by my sister,  whose writing name is Soulbalm but most people just call her Soul. In the spirit of Thanksgiving,  I want to share it with you. Have a blessed Thanksgiving where unconditional love prevails and drama is minimized.  


Be well. Lead on.

Adam

Thanks

by Soulbalm

To those who have been my friend over decades and years
To those who have befriended me in the last several years or months or days
To those who have listened and supported
To those who have heard a word worth sharing
To those who have encouraged me to keep moving forward when I wanted to sit down
To those who keep pushing me to go beyond my last effort into my brighter tomorrow
To my family for showing me what love looks like and feels like
To my Creator for showing me what love sounds like, thinks like, and what it consists of
To those who criticize for giving me something to think about and reach towards
To those who hate for inspiring me to love even harder
To those who troll for giving me people to pray over who need it more than the ones who they troll the hardest
To this media source for allowing me to connect with friends all over the world
To my children for allowing me to understand why God hasn’t quit on us yet
To death for reminding me my days are numbered
To life for reminding me that my purpose is not yet fulfilled
To doubt for making me dig deeper
To hope for making me reach higher
To faith for making me recognize the seen as powerful but the unseen as limitless
To fear for stretching my faith
To LOVE who makes all things possible

Thanks!

11-23-16
Soulbalm Says
#soulbalmspeakslyfe
#souliciouswordexperience

My Personal Ten Commandments

My Personal Ten Commandments

I Don’t DO New Year’s Resolutions

My friends and colleagues that know me well know that I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions. Sure, I want to be healthier, work out more, make more phone calls, blah, blah, and blah. But why tell everyone that each January when life changes too frequently for those kind of commitments. Last year, I drafted a list of five simple things people could resolve to do instead of their normal lists. And I stand to that. I would love to hear whether you tried any of them. (See here if you did not read that post.)

This year, instead of a resolution, I decided to document something much more important.

My Personal Ten Commandments

I got this idea from a book of ideas I received from a professional organization I have just joined. And I think it is brilliant. Your life will change. Your job will change. Your circle of friends will evolve. But your core values and principles should be consistent.  And while you may compromise on compensation, title, which restaurant to dine at or movie to see, there should be certain things about which you refuse to compromise. Here are my personal 10 Commandments. I would love to see yours!

10 commandments Adam Stanley new years blog 2016

I. I will put life before money

Money is helpful in life but it is not life. I enjoy the fruits of my career, but do not be deceived as I would rather have nothing than sellout my core values. I will not devote my life to the pursuit of money, popularity, prestige, or social status. I will not envy someone else’s worldly goods, personal or professional reputation, achievements or any temporary success.

Be Authentic - Adam Stanley blogII. I will be my authentic self.

Regardless of how successful someone might seem, trying to emulate that person will not make me equally successful. Yes, that jerk has made it to a high point in his career. But I am not a jerk. I do not want to be a jerk. And if being a jerk is required to get to that next step, I will accept my ceiling happily.

III. I will never use religion to justify intolerance

I am unashamedly and apologetically a Christian. My beliefs influence how I act and how I make decisions. However, my beliefs are personal and should never be used for hate or harm. I expect the same from others but sadly this has not been the case, especially of late.

IV. I will never lose sight of the big picture.

Details are important, but too often relationships are hurt, jobs killed, and wars lost because people lost sight of what really mattered. I will endeavor to always see the forest AND the trees.

V. In all that I do, I will strive for high quality

I must continually look to improve on old models and practices, working to dedicate myself to being the best that I can be, everyday, in whatever activity or cause to which I find myself attached.

VI. I will love, honor, and cherish those that nurtured me

The purpose of life is to gather the wisdom of the ages, add your individuality and change the world. Try to make it a better or at least a more interesting place. H Wexler

My mom and dad, my sister and my best friends. My mentors Ken P, Louis R, Mike E, Jack W, Adam S, Dan K, and on an on. You mean so much to me and have taught me so much. I learned from you and for that I thank you. I hope to provide similar nurturing to future leaders.

VII. No one is better than me and I am no better than anyone else

golden rule
Do not treat the lives of other people as less valuable than your own. Ever. No matter how right you may feel. Start with the premise of equality and then try to find the perspective of the other side. I am saddened by the hatred in the world today largely caused by people forgetting the one rule that exists in all major world religions. Treat others as you want to be treated. Do not be prejudiced. I will always try to get to know the individual and not judge him or her by a race, religion, or other characteristic.

VIII. I will allow individuals to drive their destiny and take responsibility for their decisions

I blogged on this recently with a focus on senior leaders. But the principle applies to everyone. If you allow people to make as many decisions about their own lives and circles, they will be better equipped than you. And, they can learn from their successes and failures.

IX.  I will be honest and fair

A white lie is a lie. Misleading people is like telling a white lie. Hiding key elements of a complete story is misleading people. I will strive to be as honest and true as possible, managing truth that could hurt people effectively but never hiding the truth to avoid difficult conversations. I will not cheat or exploit people. I will not always be polite or politically correct, but I will be respectful.

X. I will laugh at every opportunity, and with as many people as I can.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. –Bob Newhart

So, that’s my list. What’s yours? Have a wonderful, relaxing as you want it to be, fun as you’d like it to be, New Year. And thank you for your continued connection.

Be well. Lead On.
Adam

Related Posts:
Who Am I?
Expectations of Leaders at all Levels
Khalil Gibran on Leadership
Lessons from Henry V

Also check out:

“To Be Happier, Write Your Own Set of Personal Commandments” by @gretchenrubin on @LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20131129204900-6526187-to-be-happier-write-your-own-set-of-personal-commandments

Adam Stanley Connections Blog - New Years Resolution 2016

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Happy Holidays – Christmas 2014

IMG_0056.JPG Cinnamon scented pine cones roasting by an open fire. Cookie nipping at his presents. Yuletide carols being song by Spotify. And all of us escaping from Chicago to the somewhat warmer mountains of North Carolina.

This year was interesting in so many ways. A new company in a new industry that spun off from a parent, was funded by a strong consortium and is now set to close on a substantial acquisition. Good times with many new and long time friends. Getting back to the gym for a steady three months (and then stopping for the last month …) Being named to Crain’s Chicago Tech 50 list and meeting dozens of tech entrepreneurs. And of course spending quality time with my family and friends around the world.

Everybody knows a turkey, and some mistletoe, helps to make the season right, but it’s life connections and new experiences, such as those shared with you, that made 2014 bright. So, click here for my special greeting for you.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Adam

What if there is no “anymore”?

Guest Blog

Life Lessons: Thoughts from my Mentors

Especially fond of you I received a lot of positive feedback on my recent blog about finding balance in life. Much of my thinking comes from years of finding my way through corporate challenge after challenge while watching friends change, loved ones die, and loyalties betray. But I learned most of my life lessons from several mentors, starting with my parents and going through to several partners at Deloitte, an old boss at ABN AMRO, and a few other leaders. Below are two lessons from my Dad, one written and sent to me and my sister quite a while back. The second one was written for his wife but shared with others in the family as a reminder that we can’t let differences of opinion, arguments, politics, or other societal factors separate us from those we love. I wanted to share these lessons with you. Both really hit on the importance of finding balance before its too late.

Be well! Lead On.
Adam
Adam L. Stanley

What if there is no “anymore”?

One day a woman’s husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t “anymore”.

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more “just one minute.”

Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say “good-bye”, say “I love you.”

So while we have it, it’s best we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick. This is true for marriage…..And old cars… And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep — like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Life is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we keep them close!

For Julia – An Instant Away

What if… the joy of morning love, the strength of sleepy cuddling a whispered prayer, and the over-concern he said was care…

What if… the pretty eyes, the sensuous looks, the dinners and meals,
and the sometimey fights to express how she feels…

What if the normal routine of life was shattered…
Love of life is torn and battered,
When words not spoken are ripped away,
Kisses not given, are thrown away.

What if all you have, is what we had…

You know it will happen in an instant some day,
And maybe it’s only an instant away.

What if, the apology is never given… the thought never shared.
The heart never opened, they doubted that you cared.
The curt replies, the sullen looks, imagined wrongs recorded as in books.
Sarcasm pronounced, judgment denounced,
actions studied, and criticism levied…

When the one you wouldn’t miss, becomes the one you can never kiss.
When stored anger is reduced, to a heart rending ache.
When knowledge of missed opportunities sweeps through your mind.
And in every room, new evidence of love you find.

But all you have left, is what we had…

You know it will happen in an instant some day,
And maybe it’s only an instant away.

All our trials, our struggles,our hopes and our joy;
Weight loss, job promotions, concerns for that boy.
Parental pressure, eternal release…

And all one of us will have, is what we had.
Will those memories be enough?

You know it will happen in an instant some day,
And maybe it’s only an instant away.

Thank you GOD, for letting me laugh again..but please may I never forget that I once cried.

Michael A. Stanley
Grand Prairie, TX

If you would like to guest blog or chat about your life lessons, please contact me via twitter or by posting a comment on this blog. Thanks, Adam

Adam at Sunset

Find your balance NOW!

20111121-213708.jpg

Me and Dad

Me and Dad

Tributes to Grandmothers

Honor them while they are with you …

Thank you to all of you who sent up prayers, shared your thoughts, and emailed or posted words of encouragement. My grandmother is not out of the woods yet, and will likely not be with us for too much longer. I am thrilled that she is out of the hospital and at home now. She is talking and enjoying time with her family. We have meanwhile enjoyed a mini-reunion with uncles and aunts from all over coming into Chicago to be with my grandmother.

Continuing in my tribute to her, honoring her while she is still with us, I found three great poems about grandmothers that I wanted to share. They are written largely from the perspective of a child, an innocence we not only lose but often forget completely as we grow older.  I’m also sharing a few older photos of her that show how beautiful she has always been.

Finally, I would urge each of you to read a great blog I read on regrets people have when they die. I pray that I do not have these regrets and wish the same for you. See the blog here.

Thanks again for your support.

Be blessed and in relationship,

Adam


Beautiful Young Grandma

Beautiful Young Grandma

Grandma

© Michele S. Reeves
Grandma,
A baby cradled in your arms…
Teaching me your gentle charms.
Growing up with you by my side…
Learning from you never to lie.
To understand and not judge too…
Love and kindness I also learned from you.
Through the years you watched me grow…
Teaching me everything I’d need to know.
Listening to every word I’ve said…
And every word I’ve wrote you’ve read.
You’ve been there for me to the end…
Until the day for you, God did send.
Now you watch me from up above…
Shining down on me your heavenly love.
I will miss you with all my heart…
Thank you for being there from the start.

Grandma in Early Years

Grandma in Early Years

One Of A Kind

© Julie B. Bradstreet
The funny beautiful lady
That means so much to me
May be gone from the land of the living
But with me she will always be
Because my memory holds her dearly
And my pen recalls her ways
And most of all I love her
A love that always stays
It stays inside my memory
And is often on my mind
Because a lady like my grandma
Is rare and hard to find.

Grandma in Early Years

Grandma in Early Years

My Grandma

© Bridget A. Miller
The way it smells when she cooks.
When you’re bad, the way she looks.
How she would do anything to help a friend.
The way she’ll stick by you until the end.
She’s one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet.
Unless you get on her bad side, then you’re in for a treat.
The way she’ll cheer you up when you’re down.
And how she helps you to turn your frown.
The way she jokes and laughs with me,
Her soul so kind, so sweet, so free.
She inspires me in different ways everyday.
My grandma is wonderful in every way.

Generations: My Niece with Grandma

Generations: My Niece with Grandma