Remembering 9/11/01 – Fifteen Years Later

Remembering 9/11/01 – Fifteen Years Later

Never Forget

September 11 – Fifteen Years Later

Adam Stanley - 2001

Adam Stanley – 2001

Many of you have read my stories from the Morning and Afternoon of the awful nightmare that was September 11,  2001. It took two years for me to be able to share my morning story broadly, and several more years to talk about the rest of the story.

I will never forget the tragedy. But I will also never forget the way we rallied together. On this 15th anniversary, I choose to remember it all. The horror and the light that emerged from the darkness.

I remember the friend of a friend of a friend who opened her house to me that night. The four strangers that shared a rental van with me so we could find a train or plane to wherever.

I remember the massive headache I had until I was finally out of the city, literally crossing the border into the city of Chicago in that Philadelphia procured rental van with four strangers. And sharing hugs with my partner, my family, and my friends in Chicago. The joy and love I felt when I was finally able to listen to my voicemails, check email, and see so many people that cared.

I remember the heartache on September 22, when I first returned to New York and tried to start working again. It’s hard to describe but feeling a mixture of relief you could just move on, sadness so many people would never return to their desks, and a bit of melancholy thinking of how little what you were doing actually meant in the grand scheme of things.

I remember the wretched sickness of the smell of burnt steel, and human decay. Walking back to the building so close to Ground Zero. Going up to the cafeteria where I first saw the tower burning and seeing a vast emptiness where once two great towers stood. To my office where the CFO and I had stood watching the events unfold, in anger and tears.

I remember the concerts, the signs, the flowers everywhere, the photos of missing loved ones. I cry thinking of the faces of those who did not know for sure for weeks. Some still do not have any remains to bury.

I remember the names. Oh God the names. That was, and remains, the most difficult part for me. It has been 15 years and I still cannot say for sure that I did not know someone else that perished that day. So many people died. Who amongst the long list was an ex-lover, a former coworker, a grade school friend? Who had sat next to me on the plane the previous day? Was one of the flight attendants someone that greeted me with a smile on one of my countless flights around the country? Someone I stood in line with at Barneys New York nearby, or one of the coffee trucks.

I remember the news. Constant, unending reminders of what happened. Pundits from all over the country, many of whom were nowhere near Ground Zero, pontificating about what happened. Troops being deployed by a Pentagon still mourning the loss of so many of their own. Stories of the heroes and photos of the perpetrators. I remember shutting it all out as much as I could.

I remember the different views of my friends and colleagues. Some of us walked through or were in the building when the tragedy started. Others were merely blocks away. Some worked in midtown but lived near the World Trade Center. Some were out of town when it happened. Others had never even been to New York but were fellow Americans. Many people had a story simply because wherever they were in the world, their hearts were horrified by what had happened.

It was hard for me to talk to anyone for a while after that day. My story was different than their story. And in many ways that made it hard to comfort each other. I could no more comfort someone who personally saw someone falling from one of the towers than I could be comforted by someone who only watched the horror on television. But there was hope and their was a spirit of resilience. There was a sense that we would overcome what happened and be stronger as a nation and as a people.

The media will lead you to believe we have lost all of that. That we have become more divided now than we were then. I do not believe that. I remain full of hope that we can rise above hatred, bigotry and all forms of evil. By the grace of God, we can be better and live better. We can love.

My Ask

My ask is simple. Do not use this 15th anniversary of that terrible day as a means to justify hatred, elect a political leader, or prove just how much more patriotic you are than the next person. Use it to show love. However you know how. “Never Forget” the lives that were lost. But also never forget those that were saved and those that saved. Never forget those who called you that day just to say hello and tell you they loved you. Never forget the renewed sense of optimism you had and the determination to rebuild and prove that we were not defeated. Never forget the people of many races, socioeconomic backgrounds, and religions that rallied together to help those in need.

Never forget that in a moment of pure terror, there was light somewhere near you.

Bring that light back. And the bad guys will never win.

Be well. Lead On.

Adam

Related Posts:

Remembering 9/11 – 15 years later (2016)

Remembering 9/11/01 – My Morning in Lower Manhattan (2011)

Remembering the kindness of strangers – September 11 (2014)

Retracing My Steps (2017)

hire for character and values - Adam Stanley Connections Blog

Adam Stanley – 2016

Adam L. Stanley Connections Blog
Technology. Leadership. Food. Life.

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My Personal Ten Commandments

My Personal Ten Commandments

I Don’t DO New Year’s Resolutions

My friends and colleagues that know me well know that I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions. Sure, I want to be healthier, work out more, make more phone calls, blah, blah, and blah. But why tell everyone that each January when life changes too frequently for those kind of commitments. Last year, I drafted a list of five simple things people could resolve to do instead of their normal lists. And I stand to that. I would love to hear whether you tried any of them. (See here if you did not read that post.)

This year, instead of a resolution, I decided to document something much more important.

My Personal Ten Commandments

I got this idea from a book of ideas I received from a professional organization I have just joined. And I think it is brilliant. Your life will change. Your job will change. Your circle of friends will evolve. But your core values and principles should be consistent.  And while you may compromise on compensation, title, which restaurant to dine at or movie to see, there should be certain things about which you refuse to compromise. Here are my personal 10 Commandments. I would love to see yours!

10 commandments Adam Stanley new years blog 2016

I. I will put life before money

Money is helpful in life but it is not life. I enjoy the fruits of my career, but do not be deceived as I would rather have nothing than sellout my core values. I will not devote my life to the pursuit of money, popularity, prestige, or social status. I will not envy someone else’s worldly goods, personal or professional reputation, achievements or any temporary success.

Be Authentic - Adam Stanley blogII. I will be my authentic self.

Regardless of how successful someone might seem, trying to emulate that person will not make me equally successful. Yes, that jerk has made it to a high point in his career. But I am not a jerk. I do not want to be a jerk. And if being a jerk is required to get to that next step, I will accept my ceiling happily.

III. I will never use religion to justify intolerance

I am unashamedly and apologetically a Christian. My beliefs influence how I act and how I make decisions. However, my beliefs are personal and should never be used for hate or harm. I expect the same from others but sadly this has not been the case, especially of late.

IV. I will never lose sight of the big picture.

Details are important, but too often relationships are hurt, jobs killed, and wars lost because people lost sight of what really mattered. I will endeavor to always see the forest AND the trees.

V. In all that I do, I will strive for high quality

I must continually look to improve on old models and practices, working to dedicate myself to being the best that I can be, everyday, in whatever activity or cause to which I find myself attached.

VI. I will love, honor, and cherish those that nurtured me

The purpose of life is to gather the wisdom of the ages, add your individuality and change the world. Try to make it a better or at least a more interesting place. H Wexler

My mom and dad, my sister and my best friends. My mentors Ken P, Louis R, Mike E, Jack W, Adam S, Dan K, and on an on. You mean so much to me and have taught me so much. I learned from you and for that I thank you. I hope to provide similar nurturing to future leaders.

VII. No one is better than me and I am no better than anyone else

golden rule
Do not treat the lives of other people as less valuable than your own. Ever. No matter how right you may feel. Start with the premise of equality and then try to find the perspective of the other side. I am saddened by the hatred in the world today largely caused by people forgetting the one rule that exists in all major world religions. Treat others as you want to be treated. Do not be prejudiced. I will always try to get to know the individual and not judge him or her by a race, religion, or other characteristic.

VIII. I will allow individuals to drive their destiny and take responsibility for their decisions

I blogged on this recently with a focus on senior leaders. But the principle applies to everyone. If you allow people to make as many decisions about their own lives and circles, they will be better equipped than you. And, they can learn from their successes and failures.

IX.  I will be honest and fair

A white lie is a lie. Misleading people is like telling a white lie. Hiding key elements of a complete story is misleading people. I will strive to be as honest and true as possible, managing truth that could hurt people effectively but never hiding the truth to avoid difficult conversations. I will not cheat or exploit people. I will not always be polite or politically correct, but I will be respectful.

X. I will laugh at every opportunity, and with as many people as I can.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. –Bob Newhart

So, that’s my list. What’s yours? Have a wonderful, relaxing as you want it to be, fun as you’d like it to be, New Year. And thank you for your continued connection.

Be well. Lead On.
Adam

Related Posts:
Who Am I?
Expectations of Leaders at all Levels
Khalil Gibran on Leadership
Lessons from Henry V

Also check out:

“To Be Happier, Write Your Own Set of Personal Commandments” by @gretchenrubin on @LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20131129204900-6526187-to-be-happier-write-your-own-set-of-personal-commandments

Adam Stanley Connections Blog - New Years Resolution 2016

Adam L. Stanley Connections Blog

Technology. Leadership. Food. Life.

AdamLStanley.com
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Being Happy

Being Happy

Just Being Happy

I recently visited with family in North Carolina and found a box of old books. One of them was called “Just Being Happy: A little book of Happy Thoughts”, edited by Edwin Osgood Grover. I loved seeing it. It was a compendium of quotes in the days before the Internet and Twitter. Copyright 1913!!

One of my favorite points from the author was in his explanation of why he curated the book.

The pleasure in happiness comes in the pursuit and not the attainment of happiness.

I agree. Will I ever be completely satisfied with everything, content with every day at work, joyful in every conversation with friends or family, or pleased with every bill or obligation? No!! But I’m going to enjoy trying to be happy.

Here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

There is a beautiful and an ugly way in which to say almost everything, and happiness depends upon which way we take. You can upset a person for the whole day by the harsh way in which you may call him in the morning, or you may give him a beautiful start by the cheeriness of your greeting. So not only in words but in all the little common courtesies and duties of life, think of the beautiful way of doing each.
– Delia L. Porter

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Do not keep the alabaster box of your love and friendship sealed up until your friends are dead. Fill their lives with sweetness. Speak approving, cheering words while their ears can hear them, and while their hearts can be thrilled and made happier. The kind things you mean to say when they are gone, say before they go.
– George W. Childs

Life is short, and we ever have too much time for glad denying the hearts of those who are travel linde dark journey with us. O be swift to love, make haste to be kind!
– Amiel

If you want to be happy, be. Leo Tolstoy

Be Well. Lead On.

Adam

new year adam stanley

Adam L. Stanley 

Connections Blog
Technology. Leadership. Food. Life.

Related posts:
Hire for character and values

Trust, Accountability and Empowerment

A new year resolution you can keep

Happy New Year Friends!

new year adam stanley

 

A new year resolution you can keep

new year adam stanley

Wow. It’s 2015. I can’t believe another year has come and gone. I joined a new company this year. Met dozens of new people. Learned more about myself and what matters. Watched my neices and nephew mature and change. Lost a few of my favorite entertainers. Added a couple of countries to my travel list. Purged a few negative relationships. Made the Crains Chicago top tech list and breached the 5000 followers level on Twitter. Found a lot of gray in my beard that was not there last year. And some things started hurting for no reason. Sigh. Enjoyed several new restaurants. Rejoined a gym and actually went for quite a while. And, most importantly, I ended the year more at peace than I started it.

So now it’s time to start a new year.

New year.

New beginnings.

New perspectives.

New opportunities.

 So what are you going to include in your new year resolution? Here is what I would suggest:

1) Forgive someone this year. Someone once said that it takes a strong person to say sorry, and an ever stronger person to forgive.

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2) Fall in love with yourself again. Sometimes your fiercest critic is yourself. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has a popular quote I love > “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”

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3) Give more. You don’t have to have loads of money to make an impact. Think about what little things you can do to help out others. Give $5 more each month than you have in 2014 to an organization or religious institution that does something positive.

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4) Lead on. Mentor someone or commit to being a better boss or team player. Take charge in an area that has chronically lacked leadership. Make a difference.

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5) Hug more. Go do it now. Give someone a hug. If you’re not a hugger, just give them a smile. You will change their day.

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This is the easy stuff.

Yes, I’m a little bit hoaky. Perhaps idealistic. But I’m pretty sure I won’t go to the gym five times a week all year. I likely won’t lose 20 pounds or find my six pack abs. So, when it comes down to it, the above items are much more realistic!

So, I resolve to do the above five things. Join me, or let me know what your resolution will be. May the year 2015 be your best year yet.

Be Well. Lead On.

Adam

new year adam stanley

Adam L. Stanley Connections Blog

Technology. Leadership. Food. Life.

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Trust, Accountability, Empowerment: All that matters

Trust, Accountability, Empowerment: All that matters

Building relationships based on respect

People who have worked with me before have heard me on this particular soapbox quite a bit and for those I will suggest maybe they don’t need to read this particular blog. There will be nothing new here. That said, it is perhaps because I continue to hear stories from great talent I have met around the world that are working with people that still do not get it.

It is for these people that I write this blog.

Executives get busy and they get stressed. Markets start to squeeze and pressure mounts, causing many to revert to the old command and control techniques they used in prior decades. When the kitchen heats up, they forget the basics. I believe some need to be reminded of a basic principle that should be obvious to all: Organizations are successful when there is a strong relationship of respect among leaders at all levels.

Now, before I go further, let me be absolutely clear: effective leadership requires adapting your style from time to time to appropriately handle a given challenge. There are times for diplomacy, inclusion, and democracy (e.g., complex problem), and there are times for command and control (e.g., during an urgent crisis). However, underlying your leadership style, and regardless of the type of problem, the relationship of respect must prevail.

A relationship of respect requires three key elements: trust, accountability, and empowerment.

Every team that has worked with me over the past decade will have heard me speak explicitly of the three simple things that I feel are the most important elements of effective, increasingly global, teams. I sincerely hope that those that worked with me before that will see in this blog some of the elements of our team work that worked best even if we never put it to words.

Trust. Accountability. Empowerment.

You will notice that none of them involve bureaucracy, centralization, or added layers without added value! It also does not require being “nice”.


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Trust: We must build and maintain levels of trust across borders and business units, recognizing the unique strengths and backgrounds of each individual. In companies that are complex, especially with multiple business units and geographies, the absence of trust can cause money, time, and valuable resources to be wasted on duplicated efforts.

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Accountability: We must be a respectful organization and a collegiate one, but all of us must be held accountable as well. Accountability goes hand in hand with trust. When we all understand each other’s respective areas of responsibility and accountability, we create a culture of trust, and we can focus on the services and solutions we deliver and the goals we want to achieve without distraction.

It is important to note that accountability is as much about what is accomplished as it is about how it is accomplished. If you’re an a-hole, regardless of your delivery skills, people will find it hard to trust you and the relationship of respect will be difficult.

Empowerment-Zone.jpg.728x520_q85Empowerment: People must be allowed to make decisions and drive change without being micromanaged and without needing to get multiple approvals; they must be allowed to be leaders. Just as importantly, we must enable those whom we empower. Power without training is not a formula for success. Empowerment is about giving a person the ability to manage something tangible that adds value, but also about working with that individual to help him or her succeed.

Leadership is not easy, and successful teams are elusive to many people. But, with some basic focus on respect and these key principles, you will at minimum have the right foundation for success.

Be Well. Lead On.
Adam

 

 

Adam Stanley

Adam Stanley

Adam L. Stanley Connections Blog

Technology. Leadership. Food. Life.

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Ready. Aim. Do it. (New Beginning)

Ready. Aim. Do it. (New Beginning)

A New Beginning

Every day is a new beginning. All of life provides opportunities for new beginnings. Whatever has gone wrong, or right, in your life, you can begin again.
Jonathan L. Huie

New beginnings can be nerve wrecking. You spend years building a team, finding the people you can trust to get things done and do so in a values based manner. You drive strategy and create value for shareholders. And you check off so many boxes, proudly getting to a point where you can finally rest and look at the great things you and the team created …. and then you move on to the next challenge.

YIKES!! So much for resting.

“Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time” Arnold H. Glasgow

If I’m honest with myself, I will admit that I will likely never get to truly resting until retirement (target TBD). The fact is, I love gnarly, complex, global challenges and am thankful I have found that in my new role.

Leaders at All Levels

Top 12 Quotes on LeadershipI am incredibly excited about this new adventure and will enjoy getting to meet the new teams around the world. One concept I have constantly addressed that I expect will be highly relevant here is the fact that everyone in today’s technology organizations must be leaders. From time to time, everyone will be called on to make decisions, act independently, and respond to crises without time to go up the chain for days.

You can’t always wait for the guys at the top. Every manager at every level in the organization has an opportunity, big or small, to do something. Every manager’s got some sphere of autonomy. Don’t pass the buck up the line.
Bob Anderson

I blogged about this a while back with “Leaders at All Levels”

Chicago

Chicago

I LOVE Chicago, the place I have called home for so many years. And I love having the opportunity to give back to the community in which I love. Living in London over the past two years was an amazing adventure, the opportunity to more deeply explore another great city, and to work with colleagues in other European cities. While my prior role required that I moved to London for a while, I am confident that the relationships I built in Chicago will continue to grow. And, of course, I hope to see many of my friends from London throughout the year. Visit!!

As Marilyn Monroe said, “A career is wonderful, but you can’t curl up with it on a cold night.” So I expect my friends to trek on over to see me from time to time, share a lager or a cup of coffee, and warm my heart with their presence!

Let’s Go

Two great quotes come to mind as I contemplate the week ahead and my new adventure:

“If your work is becoming uninteresting, so are you. Work is an inanimate thing and can be made lively and interesting only by injecting yourself into it. Your job is only as big as you are.” George C. Hubbs

“You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do.” Henry Ford

I’ve enjoyed my time to reflect on the good and bad aspects of my prior leadership role, and the opportunity to give back via non-profit and civic consulting. But it’s time to go back to corporate, tackle this new and exciting challenge, and meet a new batch of great people with whom I hope to build something great.

Adam Stanley

Adam Stanley

Adam L. Stanley Connections Blog

Technology. Leadership. Food. Life.

AdamLStanley.com
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This blog is a revision of a prior post.